I know no one's reading this at all, but...

I just wanted to make sure all my bases were covered. In case you came here, read through, and thought I just fucking vanished or something.

Basically, I can't deal with life, school, this.... bullshit, AND make a blog and update youtube constantly. I'm too tired. So for current updates, just go to my youtube. www.youtube.com/cloverinchicago

kthxbye

~Clover

Still Awake

I am still awake. I've been up for 24 hours, and don't plan on sleeping much tonight, either. To be honest, I can't get that... THING out of my head. That elusive shape in the shadows, the figure I can feel walking -right behind me- but when I turn to look, it isn't there.

I made a mistake. I bought House of Leaves and read the whole damn thing from beginning to end. Then I read only the journal entries. Now I'm reading the book part of it. I know it's just a book, but it's beginning to feel a whole freaking lot like my own life, particularly the uncertainty of it. The constant wondering: "Am I alright? Or am I going insane?"

I know I'm not going insane, Alice saw that thing too. Truth be told, I'm sorry I ever dragged her out to the woods with me. Now -she's- getting nightmares, headaches, all the crap I've been dealing with the last month or two. Misery loves company? Psh. Not when it's your best friend.

Someone tap

ed this:
















To my door last night. Hell if I know what it means. For all I know I'm at the whims of some psychotic serial killer, and this is his calling card. But no, that doesn't explain what happened in Massachusetts.

I've got another video I'm going to upload today, after I get some errands done.

~Clover

VIDEO:

Finally, a New Post

The last week or so has been pretty stressful. But, finally, midterms are over and I can relax.

I'm posting the video of the package I got today. It has some major issues- the picture skips in and out, but it's fairly understandable. I still don't know who sent it to me.

Sleep the last few days has been impossible. It's almost like I'm hallucinating at night. I'll close my eyes for what seems like 20 minutes, and I'll check my phone and it's been, at most, 3. I wake up every hour or so, convinced I haven't slept. Only in the morning do I realize that actually, I have. It's a nightmare. When I do sleep, I have bizarre unsettling dreams.

I gotta go now, my roommate left her pencil case here and I'm gonna bring it to her for her class. I'll try to squeeze in other update later, but I have so much schoolwork left to do.

Ciao

~Clover

PS: Video link- The Package

EDIT: Video

Who the Hell Was Just in my Apartment??

Riddle me this, Batman. A minute ago I just heard my apartment door open and close. Thinking it was my roommate getting back from class, I went out to say hi. No one was there. Then I heard a key in the lock, and whoever just walked out locked the door.

Naturally I ran over and checked the peep-hole. No one. Ran out to the hallway. No one.

This is going WAY too far. Whoever is messing with me has managed to get a key to my apartment, which is frankly impossible, because our keys are made special, for extra security in the city. You can't get them done at a Home Depot or even most locksmiths. I know this, because when we moved in they only gave us two keys, and we got about 5 useless ones made before we went to the building manager and literally forced them to give us one more. I don't know WHY they're so useless.

And see, that's the other thing- management takes FOREVER to get back to us on any work orders, so I can't easily get the locks changed.

SO yeah, whoever's doing this can now get into my apartment. Lovely. That's just so great. And with the stressful roommate situation, I am just so ready to move into the dorms again, as sucky as they are.

This is breeding some serious paranoia on my part. I swear to God I saw that guy from the forest again, only behind me walking down the street last night. I RAN back to my apartment and didn't bother to check. I probably freaked out some poor guy just trying to get home.

So yeah, classes are starting to go terribly, I can't sleep so my projects are getting sloppier- if I even have the motivation to do them. The lack of sleep is starting to give me... not hallucinations, but weird visual side effects. Oh, and now my computer has started beeping at me. And I can't figure out why.

Sigh. Great. Just great.

Update # 2

Another sleepless night. Or, mostly sleepless. I did wake up in the morning, so I know I slept at some point. And then I went back to sleep for a bit.

I'm scared. Someone is watching me, following me. They know where I live. I've received weird mail and packages.

Oh god, I feel so paranoid. I'm constantly checking behind me to see if anyone is following. I make eye contact with people and think they're specifically staring at me.

This was supposed to be about college stuff and fashion! What the hell happened to this blog? Or m twitter and youtube account for that matter??!

I want to talk to a counselor, but I know they'll think I'm insane. This feels like my only outlet.

Please, give me some answers.

~Clover

EDIT: Video Post

Update

Quick update, in case anyone was worried after my last post and youtube video: after being sick on and off for about a week, I am feeling much better. While I did post about some weird stuff going down last night on Twitter, I'll chalk it up to Halloween weirdness and leave it at that.

I don't know if I'll keep this account. I don't really use it, but, if I do, expect that it'll be the usual fashion related updates that I was going to post before.

Peace out Cub Scout!

~Clover

I Fail At Keeping a Schedule + The Man In The Forest

Lol. So. Remember how I was all, "Yeah! Gonna stay on a normal schedule and update regularly!" NOPE. I'm not good at that, apparently. I got all involved with schoolwork, and Occupy Columbia, and then my awesome boyfriend flew me out to see him for the weekend, and in between all that I forgot to update. I was actually on the verge of deleting this account, cause I never update, when something caught my attention and  I though it was worth mentioning...

So, my mommy recently moved from the suburbs out to rural, western Massachusetts. The area is heavily wooded, and the house itself is right on a pond. As someone who was brought up in a fairly forest-y area, I think the whole place is 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

Anyway, he was gone when I went back outside, and I didn't have time to look around for him cause Andrew and I were already late for a 6 Flags trip!!!!!! It ended up being a pretty uneventful trip, as a few of the rides were shut down, and we just ended up waiting in line for like, an hour to go on a haunted tour in the weeWoods. It ended up not really being scary, but I've worked haunted houses before, and when you have to give birth to demon babies for 3 hours every night for a week, things just don't scare you the same anymore.

However, it was worth it to go cause Andrew surprised me with an early Hanukkah present- Season Passes to 6 Flags for next year! I am excite!

So it was a really great weekend. It's just too bad that I got back to Chicago and immediately got sick. Lame.

 Well, I'm off to do some grocery shopping! See ya!

~Clover


EDIT: The Video Post