Still Awake

I am still awake. I've been up for 24 hours, and don't plan on sleeping much tonight, either. To be honest, I can't get that... THING out of my head. That elusive shape in the shadows, the figure I can feel walking -right behind me- but when I turn to look, it isn't there.

I made a mistake. I bought House of Leaves and read the whole damn thing from beginning to end. Then I read only the journal entries. Now I'm reading the book part of it. I know it's just a book, but it's beginning to feel a whole freaking lot like my own life, particularly the uncertainty of it. The constant wondering: "Am I alright? Or am I going insane?"

I know I'm not going insane, Alice saw that thing too. Truth be told, I'm sorry I ever dragged her out to the woods with me. Now -she's- getting nightmares, headaches, all the crap I've been dealing with the last month or two. Misery loves company? Psh. Not when it's your best friend.

Someone tap

ed this:
















To my door last night. Hell if I know what it means. For all I know I'm at the whims of some psychotic serial killer, and this is his calling card. But no, that doesn't explain what happened in Massachusetts.

I've got another video I'm going to upload today, after I get some errands done.

~Clover

VIDEO:

Finally, a New Post

The last week or so has been pretty stressful. But, finally, midterms are over and I can relax.

I'm posting the video of the package I got today. It has some major issues- the picture skips in and out, but it's fairly understandable. I still don't know who sent it to me.

Sleep the last few days has been impossible. It's almost like I'm hallucinating at night. I'll close my eyes for what seems like 20 minutes, and I'll check my phone and it's been, at most, 3. I wake up every hour or so, convinced I haven't slept. Only in the morning do I realize that actually, I have. It's a nightmare. When I do sleep, I have bizarre unsettling dreams.

I gotta go now, my roommate left her pencil case here and I'm gonna bring it to her for her class. I'll try to squeeze in other update later, but I have so much schoolwork left to do.

Ciao

~Clover

PS: Video link- The Package

EDIT: Video

Who the Hell Was Just in my Apartment??

Riddle me this, Batman. A minute ago I just heard my apartment door open and close. Thinking it was my roommate getting back from class, I went out to say hi. No one was there. Then I heard a key in the lock, and whoever just walked out locked the door.

Naturally I ran over and checked the peep-hole. No one. Ran out to the hallway. No one.

This is going WAY too far. Whoever is messing with me has managed to get a key to my apartment, which is frankly impossible, because our keys are made special, for extra security in the city. You can't get them done at a Home Depot or even most locksmiths. I know this, because when we moved in they only gave us two keys, and we got about 5 useless ones made before we went to the building manager and literally forced them to give us one more. I don't know WHY they're so useless.

And see, that's the other thing- management takes FOREVER to get back to us on any work orders, so I can't easily get the locks changed.

SO yeah, whoever's doing this can now get into my apartment. Lovely. That's just so great. And with the stressful roommate situation, I am just so ready to move into the dorms again, as sucky as they are.

This is breeding some serious paranoia on my part. I swear to God I saw that guy from the forest again, only behind me walking down the street last night. I RAN back to my apartment and didn't bother to check. I probably freaked out some poor guy just trying to get home.

So yeah, classes are starting to go terribly, I can't sleep so my projects are getting sloppier- if I even have the motivation to do them. The lack of sleep is starting to give me... not hallucinations, but weird visual side effects. Oh, and now my computer has started beeping at me. And I can't figure out why.

Sigh. Great. Just great.

Update # 2

Another sleepless night. Or, mostly sleepless. I did wake up in the morning, so I know I slept at some point. And then I went back to sleep for a bit.

I'm scared. Someone is watching me, following me. They know where I live. I've received weird mail and packages.

Oh god, I feel so paranoid. I'm constantly checking behind me to see if anyone is following. I make eye contact with people and think they're specifically staring at me.

This was supposed to be about college stuff and fashion! What the hell happened to this blog? Or m twitter and youtube account for that matter??!

I want to talk to a counselor, but I know they'll think I'm insane. This feels like my only outlet.

Please, give me some answers.

~Clover

EDIT: Video Post

Update

Quick update, in case anyone was worried after my last post and youtube video: after being sick on and off for about a week, I am feeling much better. While I did post about some weird stuff going down last night on Twitter, I'll chalk it up to Halloween weirdness and leave it at that.

I don't know if I'll keep this account. I don't really use it, but, if I do, expect that it'll be the usual fashion related updates that I was going to post before.

Peace out Cub Scout!

~Clover

I Fail At Keeping a Schedule + The Man In The Forest

Lol. So. Remember how I was all, "Yeah! Gonna stay on a normal schedule and update regularly!" NOPE. I'm not good at that, apparently. I got all involved with schoolwork, and Occupy Columbia, and then my awesome boyfriend flew me out to see him for the weekend, and in between all that I forgot to update. I was actually on the verge of deleting this account, cause I never update, when something caught my attention and  I though it was worth mentioning...

So, my mommy recently moved from the suburbs out to rural, western Massachusetts. The area is heavily wooded, and the house itself is right on a pond. As someone who was brought up in a fairly forest-y area, I think the whole place is 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

Anyway, he was gone when I went back outside, and I didn't have time to look around for him cause Andrew and I were already late for a 6 Flags trip!!!!!! It ended up being a pretty uneventful trip, as a few of the rides were shut down, and we just ended up waiting in line for like, an hour to go on a haunted tour in the weeWoods. It ended up not really being scary, but I've worked haunted houses before, and when you have to give birth to demon babies for 3 hours every night for a week, things just don't scare you the same anymore.

However, it was worth it to go cause Andrew surprised me with an early Hanukkah present- Season Passes to 6 Flags for next year! I am excite!

So it was a really great weekend. It's just too bad that I got back to Chicago and immediately got sick. Lame.

 Well, I'm off to do some grocery shopping! See ya!

~Clover


EDIT: The Video Post

Monday Update

So I didn't update on Saturday like I said I would. Whoops.

Saturday update: did lots of stuff this week.Whoo. Roommate's Birthday @Cheesecake factory. Delicious!

Monday:

So, I have about 50 million projects due this week. SUPER FUN TIMES. First off, the thing I'm working on now (literally) is another Fashion Design project... Relatively easy, but it's artistic and requires a lot of exacto-knife-ing and gluing, something I'm not really an expert on.

Second, I have a midterm paper due tomorrow for English. I whipped out the draft in about an hour, and my teacher loved it, so I guess I'll be okay. I just have a few edits to make, which I can do in the library between classes. I DO have a three-hour gap in there, after all. Thank GOD.

Third, I have a Fashion Business media report due on Wednesday. This is par for the course, we have one due every week... and I usually do mine right before class anyway.

Fourth, I have to come up with and submit an idea for a project for my History final. the class is about the ancient world, I figured I'd do something about ancient Judaism, since that's a pretty accessible topic for me... Still, it's a big project to contemplate, and I'm not looking forward to crunch time on actually completing it.

And last, I have a myriad of catching up to do in Management, cause I am SO behind in that class. not only do I have to complete a questionnaire about a company, I then have to research and discuss that company at great length... and I have no idea when that project is due. Ugh. Im thinking about dropping that class...

In OTHER, much happier news, I am GOING HOME FOR THE WEEKEND!!!!!! A certain awesome boyfriend bought me a ticket home, and I can't freaking WAIT to see him :) I also can't wait to get out of the city; as much as I love it, it's loud and unsettling, and I'll always prefer the suburbs. So this'll be a really nice, relaxing end to a stressful midterms week :D

Ciao for now!
~Clover

Schedule

So, to keep myself from losing track of my blog here, I'm going to try sticking with a fairly regular schedule of posts. So here's the line-up:

Sundays: A preview for the week ahead. I'l try to keep this interesting and not just about school stuff, although it's been most of what's on my mind.

Tuesday/Wednesday: I'll post a mid-week update on one of these days. It'll  probably just be a few lines long, just to jot down what I've been doing.

Saturday: Weekend update. Pretty self-explanatory, I'll let you know how things are looking for the weekend as a whole! :)

Bonus: Fashion Fridays- every couple Fridays I'll post about something fab from the world of fashion, a designer, a new line, etc. This will be kinda random from one week to the next

See you soon.

~Clover

Busy Busy Busy

Ugh. I PROMISED myself I wouldn't let this happen. I didn't want to start ANOTHER blog and let it go without  warning. So I won't.

I have excuses for my absence, I swear. First of all, I have school (Duh) and have had sooo much work to do... but more than that, I've been incredibly sick. I know that shouldn't be an excuse- I can just update while I'm home in bed, right? Nope. I'm only sick when I'm AT home. Even now that I'm feeling somewhat better  (I assume because my stress has gone down) I still feel crappy when I get home. It's like... like I can't get enough air. Plus I'm nauseous a lot, but I've always had a sensitive stomach.

It's so strange. All it takes is a quick walk around the block to feel better, but as soon as I get back to my apartment, I feel dead again. Anyway, the reason I'm saying this is because I haven't felt like doing anything... I've been doing all my homework in the computer lab, but I like to work on my blog when I'm at home, so I can get up and walk away without the possibility of losing my computer.

But anyway, for now, with less stress, I should be able to keep up on it regularly... at least until the next round of projects.

Until next time!

~Clover

Mysterious Package....

Someone gifted me flowers today, and I have no clue who. There's only a few people who know my new address, so this is seriously confusing. There's no card at all- either it fell out, or there was never one to begin with. Odd.

Well, that's been the highlight of my day. Mysterious gifts from no one.

Rain, Rain, and More Rain.

What an awful, dreary day. It's so gloomy and depressing... not to mention all this rain. Why can't it just be sunny for once??? Not to mention how unbelievably creepy the city looks, disappearing into the fog. I am seriously not looking forward to a three-hour class. A three hour BUSINESS class. With a quiz... that I didn't study for. Whoops.

Can I just say that it is seriously not my fault? I still haven't been sleeping, and with so much else to do, I feel like I'm barely functioning. I have like, no short term memory whatsoever.... legit, everytime I have something pressing to take care of, whoops! There it goes, until the next time I suddenly think of it. Sigh. I feel like that guy from Memento. Maybe I should start writing little notes about everything :P

Signing off now, gotta get to class.

~Clover

Sitting in Class

I didn't get much sleep last night, so I'm SUPER glad I only have one short class today. I've got a full load of homework and projects anyway that I HAVE to do this week- Two media reports, a take-home quiz, an English paper to finish and a new one to start, 4 inspiration drawings and the fashion sketches they inspire, and I want to at least start my flat sketches. Oh, and whatever I have overdue for my class right now- I missed last class.

To be completely honest, I haven't felt at all with it the last few weeks. It's been really hard to sleep- I guess all the noise and light is affecting me more than I thought it would. In addition, I keep having messed up dreams- mostly centered around Minecraft. Yup, I'm kinda a dork.  I'll chalk it up to stress and overwork- and okay, maybe a bit too much partying :P

Well, I collapsed in bed last night, so tired I wasn't sure I was actually going to survive the night. There was definitely a part of my mind- a small part, but a part nonetheless- that was convinced my heart might actually give out before morning. Thankfully, I'm here today, and actually feel better than I have in days.

It wasn't really a good night, though. More weird Minecraft dreams, and I woke up to a super bright light on the balcony around 3 in the morning. I freaked out, thinking someone was trying to break in. Nope! Just my roommate working on a video project. Lol I'm paranoid or something.

Let's hope tonight is better! Gonna dose up on that Melatonin

~Clover

Chicago!

Well, it's been a couple weeks now since I moved in to my new place, 1000 miles from home. I'm super excited to be studying Fashion Business at the nearby Columbia College, and I love love love my new apartment, even though it's kind of far away from everything fun. My only real complaint, I guess, is the area. There's a lot of barren space out here... empty lots and the like.

Oh well, guess I'll just have to get used to it. I'm only here for two years, anyway!

~Clover